And So It Goes, Again

As with with all new things, there comes a time to “pause.” Because of this very tea bag above, one I pulled from a box of “Breathe Easy” tea last night, I am moving on to a new site. It was time. I like moving forward, and changing blogs is a small way to make something new in my life.

I have had this rather subtle epiphany in recent days of early summer. Firstly, let me explain that I have had an awful time this past year as a working mom. I am not nearly as happy in my home life as I was when I was a SAMH. However, I am full of joy and electricity when I am in the classroom. The energy of the room and the wonder of getting to share knowledge with others lights my fire. This is why I must keep teaching despite the difficulties that working and mommying have brought.

Don’t for a second think that my home life is poor now. Quite the contrary. If you have been reading about my little life, you already know this, but it is quite fun to imagine a new audience. There could be someone out there reading who knows nothing about me, right?

Moving on, a sweet person I know posted something on Facebook recently about the “F@*!ing” Fours. I had not known that this was a “thing,” you see. I thought I was suffering silently because it is what I do or because my child was in the wrong school or because I went back to work last year. I thought it was just us, basically. Or that maybe his school was dementing his mind.

It seems rather irresponsible of me, I admit, not to have done further investigating or researching about what FOUR was going to be like. I just took it upon faith and believed the good mamas in the world who always told me, “it gets better and better.” Well, that’s just not true.

And the good thing is, it’s OK. My boy is amazing, creative, intelligent, funny, and charming. My husband and I are still starstruck. Life is good.

But I am coming out of this delusional period in which I frankly didn’t have much time to look up to consider reality. I had papers to grade all year! And lessons to plan! Darn it! How was I supposed to get through being a professional teacher once again and figure out the ins and outs of whatever tantrums were going on at home. It was tough, and now things are changing.

The fact that we can just “pause,” like that, and take a different exit, choose reading instead of folding, or eating out instead of forcibly pushing vegetables around a saute pan is remarkable.  I welcome you to “pause” with me. Here we go again.


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